


I'm afraid (I'm alive)

by jiunnie



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Home, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reality, Show Me The Money 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 22:44:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4684100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiunnie/pseuds/jiunnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mino has been high-strung for too long. Taehyun will guide him home. </p><p>(short smtm aftermath thing)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm afraid (I'm alive)

**Author's Note:**

> really just a really short piece based on mino's selca with basick after the finals. he looked so stressed out to me. tw hyperventilation & general anxiety issues. cause fuck anxiety

It ends the way it starts: microphone gripped tight in one hand, hood pulled low over his face, more than a trickle of sweat going down his spine.

And a sense that it’s all over before it began, a sense that the hush of the audience is a roar in his ears, and the chaos of the aftermath nothing but a silent film, a world where his head is half in water, where his breathing the only thing he hears in the throbbing waves.

It ends the way it starts, a string pulled so tight in the pit of his stomach Mino grits his teeth and pushes on, just on the edge of snapping apart completely.

\- -

"Stop shouting," Taehyun shouts, squinting from the bright lights that escape backstage. He reaches forward to try tugging the stage curtain close. "And stop laughing so loudly-"

"-But did you SEE-OH AND DID YOU KNOW I ALMOST DROPPED THE MIC LIKE-"

Mino makes to grab for Taehyun's wrist, and Taehyun lets him. He’s tired, having stood squished between a camera assistant and a fidgety intern the entire evening, trying to keep away from prying eyes as much as possible. Mino’s loud voice grates his ears after hours of not speaking to anyone.

But it’s when Mino’s fingers close in a grip around his arm that Taehyun sees it: Mino's trembling like a leaf.

"Hey, are you-?"

It is a split second, a fraction of the time it takes to take a breath, but Mino's eyes flicker up to meet Taehyun's and suddenly he's breathing shallow and fast, rapid breaths shaking his shoulders.

"You're hyperventilating," Taehyun blurts out, eyes widening. He's frozen in place, yet he knows Mino's two seconds from falling apart.

"Hey-" He makes to place his hands on Mino's shoulders with the intention to calm him, but suddenly he's yanked forward and enveloped in Mino's arms.

He can feel Mino's fingers gripping his shirt from the back, short nails digging into his back through the fabric. His head is forced in an awkward angle half-leaning against Mino's collarbones.

And in one ear: the sound of small, panicked breaths.

Gingerly, Taehyun wraps both arms around the shaking boy.

"Hey, it's okay," whispering as he rubs circles into Mino's back, tracing his palm along the muscle lines there. "You can let go now."

And from his one ear pressed against Mino, Taehyun can hear the steady drum of his heartbeat. He's strangely relaxed by it.

"You're okay," he whispers. It’s also strangely noisy but quiet, like two steps away from the stage mark the end of the world Mino has been part of for the past few endless months.

“I-I can’t feel my hands,” Mino says suddenly. “Taehyun, I-”

“Hang on.” Pulling himself free from the hug, Taehyun straightens to look Mino in the eye.

“Follow my breathing okay? You’re breathing too quickly.” Mino nods.

But before that, Taehyun reaches out and grabs Mino’s hand, lacing their fingers together. It’s cold and clammy.

Taehyun looks into Mino’s wide eyes, watches his shoulders slowly relax, and something’s catching in his throat but he’s not sure what. Like the feeling of slowly landing back home after a long tour, Mino asleep against him as they link hands under the small in-flight blankets. Something like that.

“Let’s go home, Mino,” Taehyun finds himself saying, softly. Home is where Mino will write stupid lyrics and Taehyun will hit him over the head, where they will practice making music protected by the four walls.

Mino nods again. Taehyun smiles, he knows they’ll be okay. They already are.

**Author's Note:**

> well. im glad the joke that is smtm is now over. now fly me to japan where winner will be for the next 40 years


End file.
